Well, that is a relief and one less thing to be concerned about.

I spent my rest time last night reading the latest missive from the DRS (collecting plastic bottles) people. With every episode, more detail is added to the story. Up until the last issue of news, small stores could be exempted from the scheme if they were in the high street and a bigger store nearby was included. Things were a little less clear about rural stores and we almost certainly would have no one nearby taking one for the team. 

The latest newsletter expanded the definitions of exemption which now automatically excludes all stores smaller than 100 square metres. Then, the next band is urban stores between 100 square metres and 199 square metres can apply to be considered for exemption. Now, quite what the difference is, I am struggling to determine, but rural stores of less than 200 square metres can also apply. Cor, if you had an urban store at 199.5 square metres you would either be very miffed or off buying some bricks to close off half a square metre of your shop.

I was not certain, but I thought that we were below or just above 100 square metres of floor space. I checked with the Government’s business rates valuation pages where it details our business rates calculation. Hallelujah, we are 98.2 square metres and automatically exempt from this utter lunacy. I am very pleased that our size is officially recorded because come the time, we can point at the official record and tell the DRS people to go away – very politely, of course.

It does beg the question, however, of how people buying and paying deposits on their soft drinks, will reclaim their money. I really cannot see them taking their empty bottles to Penzance based on my observations that they sometimes find it difficult to take them 10 metres to the nearest litter bin. I know that I am naturally sceptical, but I cannot see the process working except in closed environments. The DRS people ran a pilot at the Wimbledon Championships Qualifying Competition in Roehampton. That is precisely the closed environment I am suggesting where it will work. The purchases are consumed, and the return machines are there, on hand. No one but the very committed are going to carry their empties around until they find a return point.

Well, there is half The Diary for the day, and we have not got around to life in The Cove yet.

For the first time in more than a week I managed to get to the gymnasium. Life has conspired to prevent me for the previous week or more, so I was very much looking forward to getting a blistering session in before attempting the north face of the day in the shop. We were, as this week is seeming to prove, very quiet in the morning. I could probably have slipped away for an hour and no one would have noticed but I dutifully waited for the Missus to relieve me, just in case.

As the Missus was going shopping as soon as I returned, I took the girls out for a spin. Since BB’s operation, I have been taking them both around on the lead. This morning, however, both pulled me down the slipway and despite putting up a reasonable fight, I caved and decided to let them off the lead with serious misgivings about doing so for the injured party. I had thought that her stitches would provide some control as it would be uncomfortable to be too energetic. How wrong could I be. She took off like a rocket and was still bolting around the beach when I got down there to try and slow her down. You would think she had been incarcerated for a week. In the end, I had to put her back on the lead and told her not to grass me up to the Missus.

By the time I got back to the shop the afternoon trade was starting to move. The cloud cover that we had endured all morning, slowly cleared to half a sky of blue and gave us some sunshine. This jacked up the enthusiasm no end and we saw some buoyant business all during the afternoon as indeed we have on all the other days of this week so far. 

The swell that I said was not there yesterday showed its hand in the evening with a deep rolling ground sea. It came again in the middle of the afternoon today with the tide on the push and beckoned a few surfers out into the bay. Again, with westerly or southwesterly breezes, the surf was not up to much, but it was better than it being flat calm which it looks like we are heading towards again by the end of the week.

Talking of calm, The Cove emptied out at shortly before five o’clock. Apparently, there was some sporting event most people wanted to dash off and watch. I was left to my own devices until, undeterred by a must see football match, enough people broke away to give us a five minutes to closing rush. 

Just before they started to arrive, I received a telephone call which I should have just left alone but I had to leave closing the curtains and go around the counter to see what the number was, so I reasoned I it would not take long to get rid of whoever it was. 

Most customers now telephone from a mobile telephone and this was a landline, so I expected some salesperson or similar but instead got someone from the Performing Rights people. I have, in the past, had scam callers claiming to be the PRS so I very reasonably asked the very pleasant person to find someway of verifying who he was – although, given the number, I was reasonably sure it was genuine. It was at this moment that the rush started. 

I asked very pleasantly our very pleasant man to go away but he persisted. I put down the telephone and served my customers with him bleating in my ear (my false ears are connected to the telephone, which is very handy – usually). I asked him again to desist but he kept telling me that it would only take a minute. I should have just put the telephone down on him, which at least would have stopped me getting cross with him, but it felt rude to do so and my telephone etiquette is exemplary – well, it was until I got cross with him and it all ended badly. 

I had told him to send me a message with his questions. He sent me a message that merely gave their working hours, which was no help at all since I did not intend to call them. I have recently answered some questions from the Valuation Office via its website, so I cannot see why the PRS cannot do the same. I sent them a reply because I did owe the very pleasant man an apology for being cross with him. I suggested he call again in November – when I will be in the middle of a field.

I closed the shop with the tumbleweed rolling down the deserted street – not a soul in sight. It was still quiet later when I took the girls around. Maybe we lost.