Mizzle. I had to look twice since it had been a while since we had seen anything of the sort. There was not anything special about it, it was the sort of mizzle we would get at any time of the year, but because the air was still temperate, it was almost pleasant walking around the block in it this morning. 

Although I had woken up at sparrow’s as I had been for a week, I forced myself to stay put for a further half an hour. There would be far less to do in the mornings for the coming several weeks, so there would be no point in overdoing it. Unfortunately, ABH did not get the memo, and I had to explain it to her which rather spoilt the moment.

As there was not much to do in the morning it did not take me long to do it. There was hardly any bottling up required for the beer fridge and only a few items in the soft drinks fridge. The greengrocery had come very early indeed and was easy to bash out followed by the newspapers. It was only a few minutes after we opened that I had to call the Missus down to take over so that I could head off into town for my false ear appointment. I left her expecting the dairy and pasty deliveries (sorry, MS).

While it was just mizzly in The Cove, it was proper foggy up the top. It was thick all the way to Tregonebris Hill after which it was just wet. I had allowed plenty of time as I did not want to be rushing and to allow for the one driver who thinks that it is sensible in such weather to drive at between 20 and 30 miles per hour and brake heavily at each slight bend. He or she would speed up only for the 30 miles per hour limit through Drift, of course. I picked up this driver just as I left the village. I would have overtaken on the straight after Trevedra Farm but having already passed two cars with no lights on at all I reasoned that it was too great a risk.

I arrived in Penzance with ten minutes to spare, which was good enough. It gave me just enough time to recover from the shock of finding out the much maligned council want more than five pounds to park in my usual car park for two hours. Normally this car park would be near full at gone nine o’clock and I had wondered why it was nigh on empty. I think the bean counters at the much maligned council will be wondering where the money has gone at the end of the year. 

It was more than likely I could have saved a couple of quid by selecting to buy only a one hour ticket. I did consider it but thought that I had better factor in how long it might take the police to arrive at the optician that does ears when I was compelled to throw myself on the floor, screaming and stamping my feet when the audiologist refused to believe that my false ears had a fault. 

It was therefore something of a disappointment – that I had spent so much on parking – when the audiologist agreed that the false ears did in fact have a technical problem and would need to be replaced. Not fixed. Replaced. I did not even have to threaten or bribe; she came to that conclusion all by herself. She also suggested that when I get the new ones, I might try keeping them in a ‘dry box’. She explained that, particularly when it was hot, the units would attract moisture from the air which might be detrimental. Of course, she could not say that was the root cause, but it was worth a try. Logic; helpfulness - I almost fell off my seat.

While I was in town, I thought that I may as well make it worthwhile and top up our pepper containers which were looking a little overused. This is the shop that has all manner of comestibles loose in tubs and will sell them in any quantity you choose. They were more than happy to top up our large containers for not an awful lot which made me feel a little better about the exorbitant parking charge.

It is a wonder how these businesses manage. Not only have they had to endure, significant hikes in business rates, national insurance increases and lifts in the minimum wage, the much maligned council are joining in with making parking unreasonable too. Corporation car parks in town should be free for the first hour to encourage shoppers to use the independent shops nearby. You can do quite a lot of shopping in an hour.

Still, all will be alright in the end. Some bright sparks have tabled the notion that a new railway could be driven into the Duchy connecting Launceston and Bodmin. The route would run along the course of the A30 we are told. The train would run faster than a speeding bullet, bring love, peace and prosperity to the nation, be the ideal transport for the gestating rare-earth minerals trade while avoiding the major centres of population and business, such as Plymouth. I am certain that it would suffer none of the issues the other big railway project has faced as the planners will have thought of everything and learned all the lessons.

We note that it is the 40th anniversary of the Bodmin and Wenford heritage steam railway, so we must live in hope.

The weather that had set in for the day did not do an awful lot for business. The street was deserted for most of the day, and we made do with sporadic customer visits from people who appeared out of the ether. There was not a soul on the beach and the sea that had been building yesterday appeared to flatten out again today. When I looked at mid tide in the middle of the afternoon, there was no one in the water, either. These in between days will need to be sunny or special for some other reason if we are to see some decent trade.

The quiet gave me time to do some emergency shopping. I had noted with some alarm that our single cup hot water boiler had expired when I went to make a cup of tea before I returned to the shop in the morning. This is an idea tool as I can rush upstairs sling a cup under the spout and switch in on. The cup is full of hot water when I return after attending to other pressing matters. Since I had left the shop unattended, I had to hurriedly break out the traditional kettle instead, which does not allow the same degree of autonomy. I had hoped to be able to order a new one from the catalogue shop in town so that the Missus, who was out that way, could pick it up on her way back. Sadly, they did not have one in stock, so I had to purchase it online for delivery. I somehow must survive until Wednesday when it is due to be delivered.

The vape legislation has been in place for more than a year now. It was the one that mandated that all vapes must be reusable and the one that the tobacco companies immediately found a way around. Quite how I should have known – read the legislation from cover to cover, I guess – but part of the bill was that as a retailer of vapes, I must act as a wastebin if someone wants to throw one away. This came to light today when my favourite waste collection company, Buffo, complained that too many of their lorries were bursting into flames because of incorrectly disposed of vapes. They have a lithium battery which are prone to ignite if crushed or made wet.

The company suggested a solution might be that a £5 deposit be paid when a person purchases a vape which is returned when it comes to disposing of it. The retail industry immediately responded by warning that it would just drive people to the black market, which is already big and mighty as it is for ordinary tobacco. I really do not have a view, but it was news to me that I would have to be ready to accept thrown away vapes if asked to do so. It has not happened yet, but if it did what on Earth would I do with it.

The answer dropped in my lap during the afternoon with a telephone call from the Laurel and Hardy Newspaper Company (recycling division). I had applied on Sunday to resume our cardboard collection. The very pleasant lady told me all the ins and outs including the thirty percent increase in the fee. She also verified the vape disposal law for me by offering a collection service for a mere £6 per week. Given that I sell possibly one vape a week and if I had one vape per month handed back to me, I would be surprised, I therefore demurred on their kind offer.

It gave me pause for thought whether I should continue to sell vapes or not. On one hand, the margins are very good. On the other, having to collect disposals would be a pain in the rear – we would not have enough to contract a removal service. If only I knew of a bigger retailer who would not mind taking them off my hands on the odd occasion I might have one to get rid of. 

Towards the end of the afternoon, the rain set in properly. Any trade we might have had evaporated completely. The rain came and went but the first couple of showers did the damage. Fortunately, it had cleared out by the time it came to take the girls around for their last run. Lucky, ain’t I.